"No, I lost an electron!" 12. A: They're cheaper than day rates. They bonded well from the minute they met. Each year, Dihydrogen Monoxide is a known causative component in many thousands of deaths and is a major contributor to millions upon millions of dollars in damage to property and the environment. Sherlock Ohms! And if they stole it, the police would Cesium. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. These cookies do not store any personal information. A mushroom goes into in bar and says: “A round of drinks for everyone!” One customer says to another, “Well, he seems like a fun guy.” There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don’t. Hence we have listed 50 science jokes for kids. ", Timmy replies, "Yesterday you said it was H to O!". The engineer looked up the model and serial number in his red-rubber-ball table. ", The psychologist replies "How does 2+2 make you feel? One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the Universe. The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread. ", The bellhop asks, "Can I help you with your luggage? Engineering students are allowed to call themselves engineers, and someone like a computer science student has no trouble using it as a title, but fine art students can't call themselves baristas. Mary had a little lamb, she doesn't any more. Research and experiments are part of the science life. The purpose of my blog has always been to prove the point that ‘science is not boring’. Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals. Meteorology – The science that deals with the phenomena of the atmosphere, especially weather and weather conditions. Even if there were no gravity on Earth, I'd still fall for you. A: "You may have graduated but I've got many degrees". A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties? "Bring them to church on Sunday and we'll baptize them," said the minister. A: CoRnY. Introduces an Aerosolized Micro-Droplet Extractor for Opthalmologists, CP Lab Safety Donates 500 KN95 Face Masks for Fire Evacuees, CP Lab Safety Launches Onsite COVID-19 Screening and Testing Service for Businesses Nationwide, Large Scale COVID-19 Testing Now Available, Preparing to Reopen: Your Business and COVID-19. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users. He advises her to marry a chemist and move to Toledo. Elaborate The students simplify the science concept/s in the lesson, e.g. Four. A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. In any case, Russians and others under that regime voiced their resistance by sharing jokes at the expense of the autocrats. A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3-'s". Often associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and elsewhere, and in hurricanes including deadly storms in Florida, New Orleans and other areas of the southeastern U.S. It's a calamity.... we're running out of jokes! Everything else is optional! What do you call two dinosaurs that have been in an accident? In fact, they were still arguing when the train hit them. They make science learning fun and enjoyable for learners. Student Two: She must be plotting something. Methylated spirits. A: None. But Newton merely takes out a piece of chalk and draws a mid-sized square. 2. Where did the lightning bolt propose to his girlfriend? --From Big Bang Theory Submitted by Carl B at University of Denver. How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Pull down its genes. 5. The programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. ", Murphy's Ten Laws for Experimentalists: (1) If something can go wrong, it will do so just before your grant is up for review (2) If the reading on your detector is correct, then you forgot to plug it in (3) If several things can go wrong then they will do so all at the same time (4) If nothing can go wrong with your experiment, something still will (5) Left unto itself, your experiment will go from bad to worse On the other hand, if you pay attention to the experiment then it will take three times longer to complete than you thought it would (6) Nature is both subtle and malicious (7) A straight line will never fit your data, and using a wiggly line will result in the rejection by referees of the publication of work (8) If you make a great discovery today, you will find a major error in your methods tomorrow (9) In contrast to a radio, banging your apparatus when you are at peak frustration will not fix it but permanently break it (10) When your experiment is just about to succeed, you will run out of grant money. 1. Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? While following a game trail, they came across a pair of tracks. It has been proven that as little as a teaspoon of dough can be used to suffocate a lab rat. Nitrogen asked Oxygen out on a date, Oxygen said NO. Because I want to date you! Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen? arrow_back Back to Students GCSE Maths. Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not typically life-threatening side-effects. She gets so mad that when … Ba in the ground you fool, do you Zn he's still alive?Submitted by Greg W. Q: What emotional disorder does a gas chomatograph suffer from? A: A silicon.Q: What did one ion say to the other? What did the biologist wear on his first date? Q: What is the name of the molecule bunny-O-bunny? The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools. I heard hamburger has less energy than steak because hamburger is in the ground state. One day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap some more. Einstein thought it would be relatively easy to attend. A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. - 93.1% of juvenile delinquents came from homes where bread is served frequently. The optimist sees a glass as half full. Some of the known perils of Dihydrogen Monoxide are: Death due to accidental inhalation of DHMO, even in small quantities. A scowl-ple, Why did the student fail the cadaver lab? Dr. Soroush Ghaffarpour CP Lab SafetyWith the COVID-19 pandemic in full swing, There’s a band called 1023MB. Why do chemists like nitrates so much? 5. 7. I'll be it! Since bread is square, why is sandwich meat round? increasingly worse over the past few year, For Immediate ReleaseCP Lab Safety Inc. Why does the ocean roar? ", The statistician replied "I need more data points. If H-two-O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.The optimist sees the glass half full. Barium, How does the failing chemistry student answer this exam question: "H2O is the formula for water. What did the receiver say to the radio wave? A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. 4. A: They bonded well from the minute they met.Q: How can you spot a chemist in the restroom? A: Separation anxiety.Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?A: Febreeze. ", It replies, "I don't have any. He cuts off the other front leg, yells jump; the frog jumps 2 feet. Otherwise I would have died without it." They're cheaper than day rates! The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state. What do astronauts do when they get angry? It was discovered in 1773." The woman asks, "Will this cure my illness? What fruit contains Barium and double Sodium? Ohm joke answers: 6) Mobile Ohm 7) Ohm-less 8) Ohm on the Range 9) Ohm alone. Or perhaps an amusing anecdote from the lab that deserves a wider audience? Founded in 2003, Science News for Students is a free, award-winning online publication dedicated to providing age-appropriate science news to learners, parents and educators. What travels around the earth all year without using a drop of fuel? Two chemists walk into a bar. A: A man of many cultures. A Higgs Boson particle walks into a church, and the priest asks "Why did you come?" Alonzo Bodden . The Incredible Shrinking Science Jokes! ... • Puzzles, cartoons, humor, magic, and jokes can also be used in the science classrooms. Taxes? Each season lasts 3 months with summer being the warmest season, winter being the coldest, and spring and autumn lying in between. Pass a law to limit all use of bread to two slices. Thermal variations in DHMO are a suspected contributor to the El Nino weather effect. What gas never cries? We have to do this! Why did the bored internet user click on the link? That’s a hardware issue. -- doing stuff in a lab that would be a felony in your garage. Rene Descartes is sitting in a bar, having a drink. A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. So read along and laugh aloud. 2. Science Fun For Everyone! Sheldon: No. Q: What is the chemical name of the following benzene-like molecule? The average American eats more bread than that in one day! A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread. - 99.7% of the people involved in air and auto accidents ate bread within 6 months preceding the accident. ", if something can go wrong, it will do so just before your grant is up for review, if the reading on your detector is correct, then you have forgot to plug it in, if several things can go wrong then they will do so all at the same time, a straight line will never fit your data, and using a wiggly line will result in the rejection by referees of the publication of work, if you make a great discovery today, you will find a major error in your methods tomorrow (experienced experimentalists call this effect "here today, gone tomorrow"), Exposure to all kinds of toxic and cancerous substances, Learn to completely dissolve the bodies of your enemies, Always have plans for Friday night: Work in lab, Desire to be blamed for all faults in the environment and causes of cancer, Several scholars were asked "What is 2+2? I melt whenever I see you!" - 99.9% of all people who die from cancer have eaten bread. The best science jokes to make you laugh, groan, and Google. Q: Why did Chlorine's sisters Boron and Carbon lock her in the closet? A methodologist's wife had twins. A: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale. A biologist, an engineer, and a mathematician were observing an empty building. Have you heard about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? Volta was electrified and Archimedes, buoyant at the thought. The second logician says "I don't know." "I'm positive!". Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen? "Baptize one. ", The others look at him and ask, "How do you know? Here are 11 Ways to Celebrate from Home, Coronavirus (COVID-19) Preventive Measures: Protect Yourself, Bench Top Solid Waste Containers: COVID-19 (Coronavirus), Information on Coronavirus Testing (COVID-19) - Required Equipment and Supplies. It replies, "I don't have any. Where did the lightning bolt propose to his girlfriend? A: They bonded well from the minute they met. Q: What's the difference between a dog and a marine biologist? Why do tigers have stripes? Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits. However, I know every one of you has a collection of science jokes that make your students groan. GCSE (9-1) Science for AQA Engaging resources for the AQA GCSE (9-1) Science specification that will develop and embed the skills your students need to succeed in the new, more challenging GCSEs. 7. I'm traveling light." Have fun du, Large-Scale COVID-19 He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread. Hawking said he’d try to string enough time together to make a space in his schedule. He rang the minister who was also delighted. The biologist remarked, "Oh they must have reproduced." Q: How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb? 3. people are won, During this novel coronavirus outbreak, we all need to take On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. \ / The engineer looked up the model and serial number in his red-rubber-ball table. ", Three logicians walk into a bar. There has been too much action in reaction to political scandals. With this, they began to argue. All the Student Books are AQA approved. Susan was in chemistry. Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5 feet to the left. The third one ducks. What do astronauts do when they get angry? We would like to apologize for not adding more jokes... but we only update them.... periodically! Top 15 Neuroscience Jokes By: Cindy Minor , Posted on: September 23, 2014 We know neuroscientists are a fun group, so it didn’t surprise us that there are so many great jokes out there. Millions and millions of these tiny objects fit together to form larger things like animals and planets and cars. Boson replies "Are you kidding? Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals. The engineer said, "Our initial count must have been incorrect" The mathematician stated, "Now if one more person goes into the building it will be completely empty.". The effects are obviously cumulative: - 99.9% of all people who die from cancer have eaten bread. took to the streets to demonstrate their support f, Download the PDF here (English and Spanish), With The bartender says "Do you all want something to drink? Einstein is bored, so he suggests, "Let's play hide-and-seek. A photon checks into a hotel. 3. Why not start your class with some of these cheesy math jokes? Oxygen and Potassium once went on a date. Why are chemists so great at solving problems? Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Q: How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? Contributes to soil erosion. I told a chemistry joke in class, but I got no reaction. A: A mole of molasses. Q: What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium? A: When either one is unusually excited, an appropriate question is, Three logicians walk into a bar. However, w, OSHA (Occupational Safety and Health Administration) has released new guidelines for ensuring proper, Wildfires on the west coast and northern U.S. have become Einstein looks up and immediately spots Newton standing right in front of him. It's a calamity.... we're running out of jokes! The politically-aware chemistry student protested by carrying a picket sign that stated: "Free Radicals Now!". Two. 1. Methylated spirits. Pascal runs off right away to find a place to hide. We'll never post to Facebook without your permission We will access Facebook to get and use your email address, friend list, interests, likes and public profile, which includes your name, profile picture, user ID, age range, gender, networks, language, country and your other public info. Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? Top Five Lies Told by Teaching Assistants: If Avogadro calls, tell him to leave his number.Never trust an atom... they make up everything!Are you a carbon sample? Why are chemists great for solving problems? Q: What did one lab rat say to the other?A: "I've got my scientist so well trained that every time I push the buzzer, he brings me a snack. He says, "I found you, Newton! He advises her to marry a chemist and move to Toledo. How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." What do you call a swim team made up of girls named Jennifer? This community is a place to share and discuss new scientific research. Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue damage. Science >> Chemistry for Kids We learned in some of our other lessons that matter is made up of atoms and molecules. A: A ferrous wheel. How did Mary’s little lamb get to Mars? Henry begged off due to a low capacity for alcohol. What did the biologist wear on his first date? Their idea of a catalyst: Did you hear about the industrialist who had a huge chloroform spill at his factory? We'll keep the other as a control.". 5. You Pb me to believe he's dead. The woman asks, "Will this cure my illness?" One day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap some more. The past, the future, and the present all walked into a room at the same time... A Neutron walked into a bar and asked the cost of a beer. We have to take in nourishment, expel waste, and inhale enough oxygen to keep us from dying. It became the 49 th state in the Union in 1959 after being purchased from Russia in 1867.. Related: Alaska State History It has the most glaciers in the United States and is home to wildlife including polar bears, walruses, beluga whales, black bears, and caribou.. Alaska is also home to more than 40 active volcanoes. What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties? Submitted by Carl B at University of Denver. The second says, "I'll have some H20 too." C C Two gorgeous blonde biologists were in the field on a fine summer day. "Oh no," she said other, "Those are definitely moose tracks.". His business went insolvent. Ouch! In Prism. We’re here to blind you with science jokes! You're Over-reacting! Jul 30, 2015 - Explore Yellow Scope: Science Kits for's board "STEM Jokes", followed by 129 people on Pinterest. They have all the solutions. Two. Scientists can be pretty serious, but one of these 100+ nerdy and smart jokes might make them smile. The first says, "Ill have some H20." A: I've got my ion you.Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?A: To become a buffer solution!Q: Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? ", If it's green or it wiggles, it's biology. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Q: What is the name of the molecule bunny-O-bunny? My fault.”, A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Those are deer tracks," the first blonde stated.