What ensues is slander from the pastor and those some board members splitting the board and often splitting the church. They will operate like the Pharisees, and God’s dealing with them will almost guarantee that the church will not be successful in the end. ), like the rhinestone cowboy, wants to be in the limelight and wants constant praise. According to the Mayo Clinic, not all the signs of narcissism are obvious, and I would guess that many people have various traits of narcissism without actually being a full-blown narcissist or having been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. According to Rutgers University: [3] The Warning Signs of an Evil Pastor and Spiritual Abuse There are few things more dangerous to a church than a pastor who manipulates his congregation. Remember, the narcissistic pastor (an oxymoron! Narcissistic behavior often lands the narcissist in leadership positions [2] because it looks like confidence. The Narcissistic Wife, because of her attendant grandiosity, also lacks empathy. Sometimes it will be intentional, and sometimes you will just be collateral damage as she seeks to prop up her fragile self-esteem. Signs of troubled relationships; Lack of empathy for others; Vulnerable to the slightest criticism. The narcissistic leader doesn’t stay humble as the church grows because he or she only sees more members as dollar signs. Here are 8 signs of a narcissist: 1. Be very careful about using “narcissist” and … “Narcissism is considered as a socially malevolent trait and it is part of the Dark Triad of personality traits — narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism. 2: The Christian narcissist tears down the body. The pastor reports to a board of elders or deacons and there is a divide created when some of that board is swept up in the narcissism and the others recognize it and call the pastor to account. A church leader with this trait can ultimately be very destructive to a church. As a church leader, this is the most dangerous of the warning signs of narcissistic leadership. If the narcissist is a male, for example, he may tell you that he was an all-star athlete in school when the reality is that he was rarely ever on the field. He will overplay any life event to look as if he was the star of the show. As we previously discussed in the blog entry Narcissistic Personality Disorder* In The Clergy, the pastorate attracts its fair share of narcissists*. They exaggerate their achievements and talents. Where there is love, there is liberty. But be careful before you label your boss or your congress person a narcissist. If you are reasonably confident your pastor has these marks, or at least some of them, you might have a narcissist for a pastor. A narcissist will misuse scripture in order to keep others in bondage, shame them, or even outright control them. God has called us to love one another. One of the great pains of having a Narcissistic Wife is that she will constantly step on your feelings. This can cause him or her to use church funds unwisely, seek more and more income to support his or her extravagant lifestyle, or even take what doesn’t belong to him or her. Charisma and the ability to lead are not necessarily signs of narcissism. When we filter our lives through the lens of ego, we become blind to the spiritual needs that demand our full attention. The narcissist has no love and therefore, to be in relationship to one will begin to feel like a prison.